Today at the noon meeting we read from More about Alcoholism.

The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

I believe this description should be called "The Great Delusion".

Tonight I watched an episode of intervention. It was a particularly touching story of a hispanic family with an alcoholic member. He had brothers and sistsres and a mother who were very proud people. During the pre-intervention the older of the brothers was very tough and refused to agree to go to any lengths for help. During the intervention they all broke down in their plea to him to get help.

I couldn't believe the depth of the man's delusion. He had sores on his side and was a pathetic underweight shell of his former self. Yet he thought he did no have a problem. He thought he only had a couple of drinks at a time and that he didn't drink every day.

The family was steadfast when he refused treatment and they stuck to there boundaries. But the intervention was most dramatic when the older brother said man, we are begging you to go.

He finally went but was kicked out after 30 days. He relapsed a short time later and then had esophageal bleeding due to cirrohis of the liver. He died.

Today I talked about how it was the description of this delusion that helped me to understand that I was truly alcoholic. This message kept me from a progressing to the worse bottoms they lay ahead for me.

It was a good day, I stayed busy at work and didn't get too far behind. Today I thought of Saint Patrick's day in a completely different light and when people talked about it I worked in the real meaning of the holiday.

When I came home I practiced ball with my son.

I am truly grateful today for my recovery.