This morning I was really tired and woke up late. Nevertheless I got up and made breakfast for the kids and we made it to church early.

The priest gave a homily in which he used an analogy of a person so dedicated to their job that everyone goes to them for answers. This he said was how dedicated we need to be to our spiritual vocation. He also talked about how with this dedication we should be able to walk through crisis, even job loss with peace of mind that comes from Christ.

Afterward I contemplated not going to the meeting at the rehab center because I was tired. But I decided that being a little tired was not a good reason not to go so I went.

I was glad that I went because I was the only guy from the south side there and I was the only one that identifies as a Christian. We talked about step 2. I thought about how the new concept of God as a power that would restore me to sanity resonated with me. I thought of the power of the force in star wars. I thought about how the jedi had to "trust the force". I thought about how they couldn't have that power until they relinquished their dependencies and practiced spiritual disciplines. I thought of spiritual fitness as being like physical fitness, it has some immediate gain but then requires continued exercises to build up strength, stamina, and endurance.

In the afternoon I got to continue my yardwork tasks and play with the kids.

I find myself slipping into fear and dread about returning to work. But, then I think of the alternate perspective of faith and I find peace.

Thanks be to God.