Last night I had some strange happenings. First my son woke up within a few minutes of going to sleep and said he heard breathing under his bed. Then I woke up just after sleep with an angelic voice directly behind my head that said "father". Then I woke up in the middle the night with a jolt that felt like an electric shock. Then I had a dream that I was working back at my old job at the semiconductor plant and going through several days and was living sobriety hiding some brief relapses. But this wasn't all.

Early this morning I was woken from a dream that I was actively using. I had scored some drugs and returned to the house where I lived and went in to the room where I used in a startlingly furious rush to get high. I sensed that I had been using for a long time at this point and had such an intense anticipation high that it was causing me to be nauseous. I thought about taking a big snort but immediately rejected that idea to scrounge for a needle. I thought about a drawer in a desk and remember stacks of fresh syringes in there. But when I opened it there were only a few bent and dull used points. I was trying to stick a full one in my arm when I felt myself yanked out of the dream. I felt myself pulled rapidly as if up a long shaft through layers and layers of consciousness.

When I came up to the surface of consciousness and was still not quite awake I still had the deep obsession. I felt angry and wanted to get back up or dart out of bed and go score. As I began to wake up I felt the obsession gradually ease and I returned to reality and sanity.

I had a great day today running errands and putting up the Christmas tree.

This evening I got to go to a meeting.

Thanks be to God.