This morning we all got up and got going in good spirits. My wife had to work and we are still using on vehicle so I started out to take the 3 oldest to school. On our way my son with food allergies vomited in the back seat of the van. I turned around for home and called my wife. She griped at me for not taking my daughter to school first and she cursed and hung up the phone. I had to ask God's to remove my resentment.

I remembered that I had a dream last night. In the dream we were all headed out the door together. As I walked out the door a voice from the roof of the house started telling me that I should tell something to my wife. In the dream I knew what the person said but I do not recall what it was now. In the dream I laughed and started talking back with the person, it was my wife's friend. I engaged in a conversation with her and then I was standing there on the roof putting up Christmas lights. As we joked our conversation took a turn to discussion and counsel. Then I realized that my wife's friend was actually the blessed mother and she was up in the tree over our bedroom where the doves live. Then I saw that there were many doves throughout the tree. As she was speaking I scanned around our house and saw that doves had landed in all the trees surrounding the house. The trees were filled with three types of birds, doves, hawks, and grackles. They appeared to have a hierarchy. I thought about this and imagined that these were the heavenly hosts surrounding and protecting our home and my family. I imagined that these were the angels, archangels, and saints.

This morning I woke up in good spirits and willing to trust in God. The kids and I got to watch an animated story of the real Saint Nicholas. It was the best program that I have seen about the story and it captivated us all. I was particularly moved by the conversions that happened and the potential conversions.

I was able to get up and clean and feed the kids and find joy in my work even when my wife was away at school.

I had this weird moment in the middle of the afternoon when I sat down to watch the animated stories of the New Testament and none of the kids were watching. It was a particularly good episode that went through various parables and culminated with the question of why Jesus taught in parables. I was moved again by the conversions, potential conversions and those who did not convert. But, during this my wife walked by me and I felt like I was being idle for watching children's cartoons and I eventually got up. I regret this because this was the Gospel that I was watching.

I did get busy and again I took joy in my work.

In the evening there was a major football game, the Big 12 championship. But all day I felt compelled to go to the meeting. At game time I decided to go. The meeting went well with a small attendance of a few of our most sober people.

At the end of the meeting someone got up and cursed some people and cursed Christ and spit on their desire key tag. Fortunately no one reacted defensively and some people reacted with tolerance and kindness, although I was conflicted over whether or not some assertive action was warranted.

I put my best face forward but was disappointed to experience a rage storm of emotions. I had thoughts of disruptive confrontation, exclusion, and even violence. I was also reluctant to admit this to myself. I realized that these emotions come from my basic instincts of pride, ambition, and ultimately fear.

It occurred to me that I am not living up to the ideals of forgiveness and sacrifice if I allow myself to dwell in those emotions.

I talked to a guy afterward and he helped me to get objective. I talked to my sponsor and he helped me to find sympathy for the person. I now need to pray for Jesus to give me forgiveness and love the person and I think I already feel it now.

Thanks be to God.