This morning I woke up late and we were all slow getting started. After cooking and serving the kids breakfast and then cleanup, lunch came around too soon. After lunch I was very tired and never really got going. I had to accept that some housekeeping and leaf raking as the most productive things that I would do with this day.

I was afraid today about not being productive.
I was resentful that I was undisciplined.
I was resentful that my wife did not get out of bed earlier.

Today I thought some more about the spiritual gifts that I've received this Christmas.

Insight to address agnosticism - remembering that I simply need to speak about my own experience, speak in the frame of reference that the person relates to, and that I have been trained for this in step 12.

Step 12 Insight - Trying to carry this message gets me to think deeply (meditate) on the principles of the spiritual life and I get to receive this message.

The Christmas Spirit - It is better to give than to receive, from my step 12 meditation.

The serenity prayer has been on my mind the past three days. I have felt as if it is suddenly more meaningful for me.

This evening I got to go to a meeting. I decided to go to the smaller men's group at our club rather than the larger mixed group at the other place whether I would have preferred to go. I was glad I went where I did in support of the fellowship at the group level.

I thought some more about my bad using dream yesterday. I thought about how the only part I remembered was the misery of coming down. The topic of the meeting helped me remember how self centered I was in the dream. I was grateful for my sobriety. I was able to contribute to the meeting and got a great sense of constructive accomplishment from this. I ended the day feeling productive.

During the Monday Night Football game tonight a guy got severly injured. The camera showed one of his team mates on a knee. He was a huge lineman with "Psalms 91" written on his nose tape. I got to read Psalms 91.

Thanks be to God.