Today I thought about hitting bottom.  The dynamic of hitting bottom is when you feel a loss so great that it becomes more painful than than the desire to drink is pleasant.  But it's not hitting bottom that is important as is finding willingness.  The bottom can be raised if a person can be made to see that grave loss is coming if not intervened.  Sanity may be the greatest loss of all.

This morning I found myself contemplating a sort of new revelation about step one and I decided that I needed to revise my 12 step worksheets.   I picked up a 12 step workbook that I bought when I first got sober and compared it to what I was about to revise.  I was surprised to find that my revisions were going to make it just like the book.  I had come full circle.  It dawned on me that all the time that I had improved what I had learned from that book I had actually complicated it.

Today I thought some more about the written inventory.  I thought about how I can't brush my teeth without a toothbrush or take a bath without a wash cloth.  The paper and pencil are my toothbrush and washcloth.  I looked up diary and the therapeutic effects were cited as the primary purpose.  I saw that the practice arose with the rise of literacy and the rise of livelyhood which also gave rise to neurosis thus necessitating the use of writing to make personal inventory effective. 

This evening my wife and I and the kids went to a nice restaurant and ate hamburgers.  I am very very very grateful for those moments we had together.   I thought of the suffering people in Haiti and was more grateful.

After dinner and baths I got to go to a meeting.  I saw a guy there who had been awol for a while.  I had recently wondered about him out of nowhere.  He told me that he had been sober for five months.  He thanked me for the work we did.  I was very grateful to see him doing well.

I also got to talk to a new guy.

Thanks be to God.