Friday, January 1, 2010

This morning I got out of bed at 8:30. I was a little disappointed not to have gotten up earlier but then I remembered that it was New Year's Day and that I didn't have a hangover. Actually I had already realized that as I woke up and remembered during prayer 30 minutes earlier but my gratitude for my sobriety increased in this moment.

The kids and I went outside and rode bikes around 9 am and in the solitude of New Year's morning I again experienced gratitude at the miracle of sobriety. My thoughts also turned to the real miracle which is sanity. I thought about how my new life is made possible by the idea that sanity is a critical aspect of life that requires maintenance. In fact it is the most critical aspect of life and should be prioritized at all costs. Sanity Maintenance First

I also thought some more about the idea that AA provided me with mode of rational spirituality and rational religion.

I also thought about the idea that I came to believe in the benefit of the God concept as a step before coming to believe in God or specific theology.

I also remembered the idea of steps before the steps. Of the .0 steps before step one and perhaps some in between particularly around step 2.

I also remembered some thoughts I had about character building and how this is part of step 11 perhaps step 12.

I thought about how some folks say that step 1 is taken before the steps but while I agree with the sentiment I don't think it is true because I couldn't take step one effectively until I understood what powerlessness & unmanageability meant as define in AA.

I also thought about my career path and came to some critical conclusions that would resolve the crisis that I have been in the past few days. I realized that I have a larger capacity to have different career paths and that I should pursue the one that can provide for my family first.

Today I was thinking about the sacrament of reconciliation. I thought of it less as a meeting to open up, discuss, and be counseled about sins and be rid of them but more like a renewal of baptism. Perhaps the sins should be processed beforehand and then the confession is more of a re-commitment to God. I don't think this is new to me but rather re-new to me today.

My parents visited us this evening and we had a great time talking about things but I talked about drinking and my gratitude for sobriety and the difference between normal drinkers and alcoholics and they reacted awkwardly.

I watched the movie 2010 with my son. Something is going to happen, something wonderful!

Thanks be to God.

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