I woke up from a dream about a near affair with a hairstylist. I had to work to resist the temptation to dwell in the allure of the dream. Fortunately she disappeared in the dream but I had to ask God to remove that feeling and direct my feelings to my wife and to being a husband and a father.

Today was another difficult day but better.

I didn't have the shakes or anxiety attacks anymore but I was really worn out, tired and down. I slept most of the morning and felt bad about missing most of the day. I also had the feelings I used to have when I was using and would lose days.

I felt very bad for missing Mass on the first Sunday of Advent but I did try to watch it on TV and got through to the Gospel before falling asleep. I heard the rest in my sleep as it stayed on.

I did get in my morning prayers as soon as I woke up so I feel good about that.

I enjoyed watching football with my 7 year old son today again.

I made phone calls tonight to the persons who called me while I was down. One in particular was a friend who said I came up in their morning meditation. She had a lot of experience with the pain meds and I was thankful that I was able to talk to someone about it.