Today someone took the wrong meaning from something I said and spouted off about it. Rather than say something to me directly he sent a reply all email to everyone at work and made sure to talk to everyone about it all day. I spoke to him right away and told him that I didn't mean it the way he took it. But it didn't matter, he stuck to his perception.

My mind began to go over some solid rebuttals and defensive actions. I felt that I could have put up a great fight and made him look bad.

But I had to stop it. I had to resist the train that started rolling in my head. I had to clench my teeth and pray for God to save me from being angry.

I had to look at the fact that I was disturbed. I wanted to keep going as if I was just making objective arguments and was not angry but I knew inside that it was not true. I was faced with looking at what part of my basic instinct was aroused.

I knew immediately that my anger was a defense, that I was really afraid.

My ambitions were threatened, I wanted things to go a certain way and they did not.
My security was threatened, I could be evaluated poorly at my job.
My personal relations felt threatened, people could perceive me as difficult to get along with.

I started the ball rolling by being cavalier in my choice of words.

Not only do I need to resist my desire to hate but I need to look at the person as a friend and forgive his transgression.

I got to go to a meeting at noon and it was the last part of Acceptance is The Key.
It was exactly what I needed to hear.

Tonight I was very tired and my wife got angry with me for not doing much.

Thank God for a process to find acceptance, grace, and peace of mind.