We had a good day today. I got the boys up on time and we went to Church in good spirits. Today was the Feast Day of the Holy Family. I thought it especially fitting since the focus of my 4th step last night was family relations.

Last night My sponsor spent a long time with me on my piece of inventory. He was very thorough with me on my 3rd column and he pointed out some things that were additional insights that added to my own perspective. It was just what I needed. Then he pressed me in some additional areas that I didn't really think were necessary.

By the time we looked at where I was to blame, I felt we had already taken an excessively long time on just one resentment. Again he added a little to my own perspective but then he pressed me on some additional things that I thought exceeded the scope of the work we needed to do. By the time he dug what he wanted out of me we had gone full circle to what I had already seen in the work I did by myself prior to meeting with him.

Then he tried to work with me on what he felt he suspected was a long term lack of surrender. At this point I had become so discordant that I almost missed the most important thing he had to offer.

I thought about it today and reconsidered what he told me that he suspected. I need to persevere to grow in spiritual vitality. I need to grow to be able to withstand these types of spiritual assaults. I failed not because it was just one too many and I fell short as anyone else would. But I failed because I was not fit to handle it.