This morning I had to jump out of bed again and run straight in to work to be on time. I never did stop to pray. I say this just to be honest with myself and not let it get by me.

Last night I didn't do a written evening review because I was very sick. I did pray and review in my head. Again the only reason I write this is to confess it and be completely honest.

Yesterday morning I also had a hard time in the morning. But I got to the parking garage early and I detoured to the fourth floor wall overlooking downtown and I stopped to pray there. The wind was really blowing hard and the clouds were moving fast across the sky. There is a mannequin of a white haired man across the street that gave me the sense of someone present. I imagined in my prayers that I was talking to God.

Today before lunch I thought about asking my friend at work to go to lunch but I thought about my 12 step meeting. At 11:30 he asked me if I wanted to go to the bike shop with him for lunch and we did.

Today I listened to a recovery speaker named Ken C. He told a fabulous story of a rock-n-roll career and running a strip bar and shooting dope straight out of the block of peruvian flake. He spoke of hearing that freight train and watching the wall move away and sweating bullets. He spoke of losing all his livelihood, women, possesions, dignity, and personal safety until he got sober. He talked of the miracle of being restored to sanity. He talked about how he found hope from the guy with 60 days rather than the well recovered who spoke of steps and spiritual concepts. He talked about his spiritual experience at 3 years sober on a beach saying the Lord's prayer. He talked about his daily recovery and his purpose of carrying the message to the newly sober.

This afternoon I stayed home so that my wife could go to her meeting. I just remembered that I prayed with my daughter but I forgot to pray with my son.

Tonight when I prayed before this review I imagined that I was sitting at a table like the place where I went to lunch today.