Today I meditated some more on the early parts of our stories. I had a eureka moment but I forgot it. It may have been the thing I forgot the other day. I will try to map out the thought again.

The early parts of our stories that were dysfunctional may point out the spiritual malady was there before drinking therefore may be important. Perhaps this a good reason to discuss this.

Our early problems may have given us a spiritual malady but we can't go back and change them. We have to address our malady from where we are at today in the end not the beginnng. Focusing on the beginning or the cause is just a distraction from the reality of today. We don't treat the circumstances or cause, we treat the end result, the malady.

We don't even need bad circumstances to have a spiritual malady, just something between us and God. This can be something bad or too much of something good, or just an absence of a spiritual life.

We all want to look at the circumstances and glorify them as the cause. perhaps this is because it is a distraction from looking at the absence of God in our lives. If we look at the absence of God more as the problem then this would make the connection to God More important.

Perhaps I should develop my story around this idea. I should show how there was this time when all was right in the world, all was complete, all was love. Then my faith in the divine changed and people, places and things became more important than God. That's where it all started and that IS what is connected to where I am today.

Today the new guy started at work. He seems like someone I've known before and I think he's going to do great despite my initial impression of him.

I started to journal my day and I realized that my thinking is on my circumstances rather than on my spirituality.

Today in my spiritual life I thought about the other day when I didn't find a way to stand up for the truth.

Today at the meeting I tried to listen to people and connect with them and to try not to teach but to support.

Tonight I tried to show love to my children and my wife not just do work at home.

I danced with my little girl.

I made kisses with my wife to the kids and we all laughed.

I spoke to a friend about his struggles while my baby cried but we stuck with it til he was done.

I spent time alone with God this morning, I felt his centeredness all day.