Last night I had one of my demon animal dreams. I was dreaming I was on a quest. I was coming down a mountain, across a dark valley through a forest, over a river to an ancient ruin. As I entered the grounds I approached a gate and sensed that I was in imminent danger. At that moment I began to fly by faith. I also sensed the intercession of a saint got me off the ground somehow. As I flew over the gate and courtyard I looked down and saw a sleeping brown bear. The bear woke up and saw me and started to follow me on they ground, I watched it mesmerised somehow by it's harmlessness.

Just as I realized it was leaping for me I felt time moving slower for me than the bear. The bear had turned into a white polar bear with huge teeth and long claws. I panicked as I realised I was much lower than I thought but it was too late. A huge clawed arm swung at me and I closed my eyes, jerked for the pain and prayed frantically. I felt the swoosh of motion but no pain. I opened my eyes to see that I had moved 3 times higher and out of the bear's reach.

I moved into a room and felt like I was safe. A man in a flannel shirt approached me faintly from across the room. I began to remember that I couldn't trust the situation and I needed to get moving fast to the next door. Just then the man drew closer and I noticed how large and menacing he was. I realized he was the size of the bear. I was too far away from the door. The wall and the bear both suddenly rushed closer and I was jerked through the door by an angel.

These dreams are always an indicator of a spiritual disturbance in me. In looking at where this may be coming from I always first look at the vital spiritual practices and where I may be lapsing. To cut to the chase, I don't see any gaps. What is clear is that I am exposed to the physical allergy because of the medication I'm taking. I don't have any conscience desire to use, but the obsession must be having a field day in my subconscious.

I got a call this afternoon from an atheist friend of mind. We got caught up on things and got into a lively discussion about faith. I let him know that these talks strengthen me in the foundation of my belief and my ability to communicate with those who are struggling with their faith. I might not convince him but I might help someone who is trying to believe. I was grateful to be able to speak to him from a practical perspective and be willing to put faith to the test of reason.

I heard from a brother of mine in Christ tonight. His story about giving served to exhort me to give more selflessly when I feel the Spirit move me.

Tonight my sponsor called me and asked me to stay accountable with him on a daily basis about my medication. I let him know I am taking as little as possible.

I went to a meeting even though I think I will be tired in the morning. A guy that I didn't recognized called me by name and remembered me from our childhood, he is a newcomer. A guy in the meeting shared that he is getting glimpses of feeling human again. I got to speak to a guy that I a taking through the work and we set an appointment for Friday.

The meeting was very powerful.