Last night I woke up with terrible bladder pains. I thought the kidney stone problem was over but apparently not. I was afraid of continuing to be sick, taking medication, missing work and the financial costs.
Today I also had problems with the respiratory virus/infection whatever it is that I have. I was tired and slept on and off all morning in between taking care of the kids. I was afraid of disappointing my wife. I was afraid of not getting the yardwork done. I was afraid of not getting any other errands done. I talked to Christie about my fears.
Later I was able to go and get the haircut I've been needing. I was able to do some cleaning done in the house. Christie nudged me outside and suggested her and the kids help me do just a little yardwork. I ended up doing the mowing and raking leaves which were the 2 major things I needed to get done.
I spent some time playing hacky washers with Bobby. I spent some time guiding Eva and Ivan riding bikes. Christie joined us with baby sophie.
Tonight I got to go to the meeting even though I didn't feel good. The topic was the Sane Sex Ideal. I didn't get to share but a lot of people did.
Afterward I thought o some things I am grateful for that this part of the inventory gives me.
I am free from the irritability of living with unrealized expectations.
I am free from the bondage of a dependency on an unhealthy set of desires.
I am able to be a partner in a real relationship based on love and trust and mutual respect.
I get to have my will aligned with the way that works best and makes sense out of this life.
Corrective Measures
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I will trust God with my fears and know that they will pass if I use the tools and trudge through them.
I will continue to seek guidance and rely on God for a sane sex life.
I will work on treating my wife kinder and respectfully.
I will look into the right actions and follow directions for treating my medical conditions.
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