Tonight I really felt the strain of not being able to focus on one train of thought at a time. I almost don't even care about my own desires, just to be able to carry through my duties and the requests of my wife an kids without being haranged by another and another. This is probably morbid reflection, self pity and selfishness.

Today was actually a pretty good day. After getting off to a tough start I prayed for willingness to let God present me with whatever the rest of the day had to offer. I asked for help to feel better and be willing to be open to it and not make up my mind it was going to be bad.

As the day unfolded I got off to a good start. I got an early phone call about an ongoing issue and I was able to solve it for the customer after days of not being able to get anywhere. I looked out over the hills and there was a beautiful gold reflection of the sunrise that stood out in bright contrast to the dark horizon of the hills. A few minutes later the sunlight fell on a building and reflected brightly into the windows and flooded the room with gold.

Today at times I felt it is impossible for me to work with others, I am just overwhelmed with family responsibilities. Perhaps I should just focus on my family as my primary purpose right now.

Corrective Measures
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I will stay open to what God has in store for me
I will will stay willing to help others as God sees fit
I will refrain from morbid reflection